This is making me crazy, and I really do mean crazy:
"AggiEEEEEE! Don't take my car from meEEEEEE!"
"MommEEEEE!!!! Seth hurt meEEEEEEEEEE!"
Wow, they sure know how to hit that perfect pitch, the one that makes the little hairs on my arms stand up and my neck twitch. They sound like squawking chickens, and it is making me a little nutty.
How nutty? Nutty enough to try this:
"Kids, if you are going to talk to me like squawking chickens, I am only going to reply like a chicken." They laugh and roll their eyes, not taking me seriously.
Then, five minutes later...
"MommEEE! I was tryEEEEng to make my bed but AggiEEEE-"
SQUAWK!!!! SQUAWK SQUAWK! says mommy.
Giggle, deep breath, then in a normal voice, "Mommy, I was trying to make my bed but Aggie wants the pillow on the top but I rEEAAly want it- (slipping into whining again)
SQUUUUAAAAAAWWK!!!! say I.
It took about five tries, but he finally got the whole story out without a single whine. I then stopped acting like a chicken myself and helped him solve the problem rationally.
Before long, it was Aggie screeching, "MommEEEEE!"
SQUUUAAAWK! I replied.
She suppressed her smile and tried hard to reign in the whining, but could only get to word number three before she was assualted by mommy squawks once again.
"Mommy." she said with a serious face. "I am trying to tell you something."
"Alright, then use a nice voice to tell me."
"Mommy. I was going down the slide with my car but Seth is trying to go up and I REEEEly don't-"
SQQQQQQUUUUAAAWWWKKK!! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!
(deep breath) "and I really don't want him to do that but he woooooooon't-"
SQUAWK!
Exasperated, she walked away from me.
Calmly, she said to her brother, "Seth, could you please stop going up the slide so I can go down?"
"Ok Aggie," he smiled.
I chuckled (or maybe I clucked?) as they ran off together.
Will I have the guts to keep this up in public?
4 comments:
Wow, you are brilliant--I am going to HAVE to try this!
You. Are. Hilarious.
Also, the Lamentations of the Father thing is too funny! I am up here in the dining room giggling and snorting while Aaron's wondering what the heck is going on from the basement.
Oh my GOSH! I LOVE IT!!! I don't have any kids of my own to use this on, yet... but it just may happen at camp.
I'm not sure how the other teachers would take it if I tested it out while I was subbing... They'd be like, "I know we need a sub next week, but please don't hire that squawking chicken girl again!"
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