on collecting data

It is of utmost importance that parents gain insight in to each child's temperament.  Observe the children, make note, and attempt to discern what kind of training each child needs.  Are they overly cautious? Overly adventurous?  How do they react to change?  to challenge? to authority?  to praise?  What is the immediate response to a person who catches them in blatant naughtiness?

After much pondering, I decided to perform an experiment on the children to gain answers to that last question.
(side note: The children had been bickering all morning long, I was low on sleep and on coffee, and two of the younger ones had chosen this day to practice their high-pitched screaming.)

Bickering.
They were bickering at the kitchen table over who sits where, who sits by who, who helps what baby, who gets what spoon, and who leads prayer, and who pushes what chair where.  Their howls and whines bounced around the inside of my already sore skull.  A shriek pulled my eyes wide and made me grit my teeth.  Then, a spill, and one more tattle, and one more indignant "Mommy!" screamed in my direction..

I calmly decided it was a perfect time to try my experiment.

"STOOOOOOOOOP FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTIIIIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  The tone and the sound and the mommas-gonna-lose-it expression on my face had the desired result.

Silence.

Then, the opportunity for data collection regarding their psychological makeup.  Behold, the multicolored temperaments that graced my table that day, and the thoughts I read on their faces.

The Instant Repenter- Sinful wretch that I am!  I am not worthy to be a child of this house! If I let fall the tears from these eyes they will never stop flowing! Oh, woe is me!

The Smirker- Yep, momma's gonna lose it.  Oh what fun that will be!  The authority figure has been defeated!  Hm, what shall I do first when there is nobody to rule me any longer?

The Smarter Smirker- Don't laugh.  Look contrite.  Make your eyes big and look very serious.  Don'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaugh.  Hold your breath if you have to.  Do not make eye contact with the smirker.

The terrified-  Oh I see.  This is how my life will end after all.  I didn't think it would happen quite so soon, but alas, so it shall be.

The Sibling Checker- Laugh or cry? Laugh or cry?  What are the others doing?  Oh no, mixed messages!  What do I do?!?! WhatdoIdoooo?


Yet these dear children, molded by the liturgy of sin and grace in our daily lives, spoke with one voice to their frazzled mother as she tucked them in for naps and whispered a sad, "I am sorry for yelling at you like that."

"I forgive you momma." said each one, adding grace upon grace with tiny hugs and kisses.

on the weather and suchlike

Yesterday morning Aggie came in from feeding the dog, complaining loudly to me, "Mom! It's cold out there!"  She really seemed disgusted about this, and quickly explained why.

"I told God to take the rain away, but I forgot to tell Him for it not to be windy!"
Exasperated sigh.

I guess I can see her point... does God really need her to spell out every tiny detail?! C'mon, get with it God!

Aggie is pretty sure she would do a better job than God if she could take over full control of the weather.

I sometimes feel that way about matters of life and death.

Probably, we are both wrong.



And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Peace like an Aggie

On the baptism of sweet Avner Lawson Grubaugh, a new church tradition was born...

It was a private baptism, and so we all gathered around the font.  Our six children plus four young cousins; the kids wiggled and whispered during the short service.

At the very end, the pastor prayed that the peace of Christ would be with us all, and then encouraged us to share that peace with one another.

Little did he know, the shaking of hands does not happen to be the tradition in our church.  When he bent down to offer his  hand to Aggie, her eyes began to dance as if this were the signal that the horrible sitting-still part of the service was over.  

She smiled, wound up, and gave the pastor an enormous high-five!

Welcome to the family, sweet Avner!

kid worries

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, 

what you will eat or drink; 

or about your body, what you will wear. 

Is not life more than food, 

and the body more than clothes? 

Matthew 6:25

Do you kids ever worry about what you are going to eat or what you are going to wear?

Aggie immediately chimes in:

(Read the following very quickly for the full effect.)

"YES!  Sometimes I worry about what I'm going to drink, but that's not a good thing to do.  Because if you say 'Mommy what are we going to drink? and she says 'chocolate milk,'  and then you say, 'Mommy what are we doing to drink?' and she says, 'chocolate milk,' and you say, 'Mommy, what are we going to drink?' and she says, 'chocolate milk' ....  then mommy won't really like that."

Ok... anything else that you worry about children?

"Sometimes, I worry about what I am going to wear..."

said one of the more thoughtful children seriously.

Finally,  I thought, we will have some worthwhile contribution to this discussion!

"...I worry about what I am going to wear because one time I didn't have enough underwear in my drawer so I had to borrow some.  I didn't like to do that. So I worry."




(The fruit of my labeling fun can now be seen on the sides of the blog.  Happy reading!)

Better than chocolate?

Aggie came home from school last week with two small pieces of candy. She was BURSTING to tell me about them and could not WAIT to share them with each one of her siblings.

After dinner, she made certain the candy was divided fairly. The tiny kitkat she wanted cut on thirds, one piece for each of the boys. She and Lorraine split the peanut butter cup in two.

Wow, I thought. Had that been me, I would have eaten all the chocolate myself, immediately, and secretly.

Her joy is not in the food itself, and she is no slave to even her most favorite treats. Her delight is in having something to give, and she does it freely and cheerfully.

God loves this cheerful giver, and I do too!

Hey look!

"Hey look it's BABY GOD!"

Marcus yells every time he sees a nativity scene. It is a striking phrase, one he pieced together himself.

"Baby Jesus" is something we hear all the time, but "baby God," actually more accurate, is really quite startling. It is bizarre, really, to put the words "baby" and "God" together. One brings up ideas of weakness and vulnerability and neediness, the other strength and power and authority.

Yet God, our God, has put these two things together. He is the God whose apparent weakness is strength, whose vulnerability and death is power and blessing.

A great mystery is here.

Merry Christmas.

serious Aggie

After a couple pukey hours this morning, I told Aggie I was feeling better.

"Of course you are mommy! I prayed for you!"

"Aw, thanks honey!"

"Your welcome," she said seriously. "Now, let's not have that happen again."

The liturgy of Easter

I had this conversation with Marcus yesterday at church. It is a conversation as predictable as the daily “be kind to your siblings” lecture, and so each child knows the rhythm of it by heart.

“Is that Jesus mommy? Jesus died?” (serious face)

Yes honey he died on the cross, do you know why?

“For our sins?” (sad face)

That's right, but did He stay dead?

“No Jesus rose!” (happy face!)

Yes, He rose three days later. He's in heaven and someday when we die we will get to go to heaven to be with Him!

(happy face! and on to another subject...)

And so to the children, death means little. They hear about it often, but the whole subject is defined for them not by the cemetery, or by grief, or by their own personal losses, but rather, in terms of Jesus' death and resurrection. Therefore it is not permanent, nor it is the end of anyone's story. Death.... like sleeping …. or moving.

heavenly reflections

Yup, this is the kind of conversation we enjoy with our sweet children all the time....

Aggie: “Daddy, will there be potties in heaven?”

“No honey, I don't think you'll have to worry about going potty in heaven.”

With a little panic in her voice she says, "What do you mean there won't be potties?!”

“It just won't be necessary honey.”

“But daddy, I'll really REALLY have to go pee!”

“I don't think so Aggie.”

“Fine then,” she says, “I'll just go on the grass!”

Seth, who's been listening, laughs and asks “what if you have to go poop?”

Aggie, disgusted, yells, “NOOOO Seth!!! I will just really really have to go pee and I will go on the grass!”

Toddler theology

I was a religion major at Hillsdale college, and I have struggled with most of the common perplexing theological questions. Yet every now and then, the children will surprise me with a new challenge…

It was an ordinary day, waiting at the drive-through at Wendy’s, when Aggie started licking her shoes. “Aggie! Don’t lick your shoes!” (“Lick shoes?” Said Seth and commenced with his own meal of shoe germs in the backseat, and in kindness also gave one of his shoes to Marcus to chew.) “KIDS!” I said. “Do you have any idea how many germs live on the bottom of your shoes?”
Aggie suddenly became very serious. “Germs?”
“YES!” I said, sensing that this time she might actually listen to this lecture. “Your shoes pick up germs when you walk, and if you put them in your mouth they could make you very sick!”
“Ohhhh… do my hands have germs now?”
“Yes, in fact, let’s wash them before we eat.” As I got out the hand sanitizer, Aggie continued to worry about germs in other places. Are germs in my hair? The car? My shorts? The food? My carseat? My books? The dog?
Finally she sighed and asked, “Mommy, why did God make germs?”
That’s a tough one, I thought. “Well, it’s just part of living in a fallen world honey. There won’t be any germs in heaven.”

Her eyes grew wide- “So we can lick our shoes in heaven?!”
“Well…. I guess so….”
Even if I had more to say on that subject, she wouldn’t have heard a word. Her eyes were sparkling as her mind filled with all the great things she can lick in heaven when there are no germs to worry about.

Later that night I heard the girls bickering quietly, then Aggie said loudly “YES you can lick your shoes in heaven Rainy, Mommy said so!” “Aggie, you can NOT!” said Lorraine, obviously taken aback by the impropriety of the idea. Josh looked at me sideways… all I could do was laugh uncontrollably.

Wonder what Jesus would have said to that one? :)